No More Mr. Nice Guy
4 minute read
David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT, EMDR Therapist
Are you a nice guy? A popular book for men entitled, “No more Mr. Nice Guy” was written by Dr. Robert Glover back in 2003. The title was controversial, but the main premise was that many men where caught in the “Nice Guy Syndrome” and where often people pleasing in the hopes that others would meet their needs. In many cases these actions did not meet their needs, and therefore; these men would eventually react with anger, the silent treatment, depression, anxiety and numbing themselves with alcohol, drugs, food, work and/or sex.
One way to find out if you are a nice guy is to read Dr. Glover’s book, “No More Mr. Nice Guy” as he explains that Nice Guy’s have some or all of the following characteristics:
- Nice Guys Fix and care take
- Nice Guys seek approval from others
- Nice Guys are givers
- Nice Guys avoid conflict
- Nice Guys believe they must hide their perceived flaws and mistakes
- Nice Guys often are more comfortable relating to women than to men.
- Nice Guys have difficulty making their needs a priority.
- Nice Guys often make their partner their emotional center.
I have seen many of these men in my office, and they were once young boys that were constantly trying to receive attention and get their needs met by getting good grades, playing well at sports, and/or trying to keep their parents together. In many cases these young men had to be an emotional husband or friend to their mothers and/or fathers. Unfortunately, this set up a domino effect, where they continued to meet others needs instead of their own in adulthood causing a lot of unneeded suffering towards themselves and others. The fact is that these men can learn to make small changes in order to meet their needs as adults, and this would actually help them to be more present and loving towards their love ones and bring more overall health and satisfaction in their life.
If you relate to some or all of these characteristics you can also meet with me as I can identify if you are a nice guy and quickly help you learn how to make the changes to become happier, healthier and to improve your relationships. In part two I will list two different love styles of men that will explain why they may be having so much trouble in love, work, and overall happiness. In part three I will list some some ways “Nice Guys” can have overall happier lives.
For more information contact, David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT, EMDR Trained Therapist. David Sanchez is a licensed professional counselor, a life coach, a licensed clinical addictions specialist, a certified sex addict therapist and an EMDR trained therapist. He practices in Charlotte, NC but can see individuals that live in the state of North Carolina or South Carolina through counseling via in-office, phone or secure video conferencing. Mr. Sanchez is also able to see someone that lives in the United States or abroad through his coaching and consulting services. If you would like to speak to him or one of his associates, please call 980-263-9608 or e-mail him at admin@charlottecounselors.com.