What is Betrayal Trauma

By Brittany Coulsting, LCMCA, APTT (Betrayal Trauma Partner’s Therapist). What is Betrayal Trauma? Betrayal trauma is a specific trauma that occurs when someone we depend on for survival and protection, violates our trust and well-being in a critical way. Partner betrayal in a romantic relationship often takes the form of infidelity and involves the act …

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Empathy: The benefit in relationships…

by Robert McGuire, Jr., LCMHC, CSAT-C, EMDR-Trained therapist, located in Charlotte, NC. Empathy is not sympathy Empathy is getting into the shoes or seeing through the eyes or literally slipping into the experience of another person.  Empathy is feeling what I am feeling, knowing what I am knowing, understanding what I am understanding, experiencing what …

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Do you struggle with your partners wants or needs?

Let’s talk about Love Languages. By Kaitlynn E. Divine, LMFTACharlotte, NC What is a love language? Dr. Gary Chapman is a counselor and the author of “The 5 Love Languages.” As a counselor he examined couple’s patterns and complaints that they had for one another. Through working with couples, he wrote his book on love …

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4 Horsemen – Defensiveness (Part 3 of 4)

Charlotte, NC Defensiveness one of four relationship harming behaviors Through the extensive research and work of John Gottman (world renowned author, researcher, and marriage therapist) four behaviors were identified that are likely to harm any relationship, especially an intimate relationship such as marriage.  These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  This series will cover all …

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4 Horsemen – Contempt (Part 2 of 4)

Contempt Through the extensive research and work of John Gottman (world renowned author, researcher, and marriage therapist) four behaviors were identified that are likely to harm any relationship, especially an intimate relationship such as marriage.  These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and stonewalling.  This series will cover all four. Last time we explored criticism, and today’s …

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Back to the Office Anxiety:

Can we get back to the office without some anxiety: This pandemic brought along with it a lot of challenges, including new ways of living for most of us. When the pandemic happened everything about our daily structures changed and that may have caused a lot of anxiety. Now, we are moving back towards normality, …

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4 Horsemen – Criticism (Part 1 of 4)

by Robert McGuire, LCMHC, EMDR-Trained Therapist When couples are struggling, look at these four behaviors: Through the extensive research and work of John Gottman (world renowned author, researcher, and marriage therapist) four behaviors were identified that are likely to harm any relationship, especially an intimate relationship such as marriage.  These are criticism, contempt, defensiveness, and …

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Top five ways to take back control of your mental health

Is Trauma the New Normal? Charlotte, NC What is Trauma?  In today’s time we are hearing a lot about this word and for some it can be scary. Kids are experiencing trauma right now. They have been without a normal school schedule for over a year now and being online has most likely caused depression, …

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Technology, Self Esteem, and Boundaries

The effects of technology     The effects of technology are starting to be revealed in our everyday interactions. The things that used to be done in person have been completely streamlined to the online world. Other examples are dating, socializing, employment, and entertainment. Let’s put this in perspective statista.com shows that in 2011 the average daily …

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Being a Dad,Even a Single Man in 2021 can be Challenging

Being a man in general can be tough First of all, let me say that I am a man and a dad and it can be challenging. Have you ever asked yourself why this is? Well the truth is that there are many reasons why this may be, which we will discuss later. However, if …

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Fighting the Cold Winter Blue’s

Jamine Colegrove, LCSW, in Charlotte, North Carolina Fighting the Cold Winter Blue’sAs the season changes for some, so does our mood. The lack of Vitamin D that we receive fromthe sun, gloomy weather, and lack of outdoor activities can all contribute to our moodsfluctuating throughout the winter months. This weather change can be even more …

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Struggling with work/life balance in a post-covid world

Jasmine Colegrove, LCSW, Charlotte, North Carolina Watch this short video to learn more about what you can do about having stress due to work like balance in a post-covid world. For more information, please contact Jasmine at Jasmine@charlottecounselors.com or 704-981-1170, www.charlotttecounselors.com

What are Trauma Wounds, and why you should work on them?

If you are struggling with traumatic events in the Carolinas, both North and South Carolina, please let us know and we are happy to provide a free 15 call to see if we or someone we are connected to can help. We are located in Charlotte, NC. Please view this short video on what trauma …

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How To Thrive During Covid-19

Charlotte Counseling Associates, serving North and South Carolina We are living during challenging times Are you struggling over seven months into Covid-19 here locally in Charlotte, NC or perhaps elsewhere in the United States? You are not alone. Please look at this short video to learn more about what you can do to stay healthy, …

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Finding a Therapist During Covid-19 in Charlotte, NC

In Charlotte, NC

Family Connection Tips from a Charlotte, NC Therapist

The importance of family connection: Family connection begins with the environment that parents create for their children. A home with healthy communication styles, warm and inviting interactions, consistency, and boundaries breeds ongoing connection. The attachment theory better explains in what ways the relationship with our primary caretakers can affect the family unit. Attachment Theory John …

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Relationship Advice from a Charlotte, NC Therapist

See short video regarding appreciation in Relationships: What’s a relationship if it isn’t with it’s up’s and downs? Right… Well, when we get into a relationship with someone, the plan is to be in love and loved. Yet because of miscommunication and different values and upbringings, we have conflict. How can we keep love alive? …

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5 Tips For Coping With Anxiety: Back To School During Covid-19 From a Charlotte, NC Therapist

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCzFYeKisxLlgd8hRHn5VSdQ?view_as=subscriber It’s time for kids to go back to school if you’re kiddo hasn’t begun, they soon will, and many parents are feeling the pressure to decide about in-person learning and remaining virtual. The stress of preparing your child for the new school year can bring down anyone’s mood; with school shopping, getting back on …

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Sex Addiction in the Covid-19 Era

See this fun and informative video presentation on sex/porn addiction in the Covid-19 Era presented by David Sanchez, LCMHC, LCAS, CSAT, Brain spotting II Therapist and Michelle Holleman, LCAS-A, ASAT, EMDR Trained Therapist.   https://www.facebook.com/charlottecounselors/videos/1155197664834248/

Five Ways to Combat Anxiety During Covid-19

Are you feeling stressed or anxious right now?  Currently we are facing an unprecedented time, where you, I and everybody is awaiting a massive storm. What makes it even more frightening, is that this storm is invisible. If you are feeling excessively worried during the crisis with COVID-19 otherwise know at the Corona Virus, you …

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Is Your Husband or Boyfriend a Nice Guy?

  Is your husband or boyfriend a nice guy?  I believe that everyone wants to have a compassionate, loving, and vulnerable relationship in their lives. When we first begin to date, we may see those qualities in the other person.  However; due to what researchers call attachment, we may not really notice that the person …

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Are You a Nice Guy? (Part 2)

  If you read my last blog, being a nice guy generally leads to not being a nice guy. What I mean by this is that if a man continues to be there for everyone and is constantly trying to please others, he may find himself feeling stressed, empty, depressed and irritable.  This is not …

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No More Mr. Nice Guy

No More Mr. Nice Guy 4 minute read David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT, EMDR Therapist Are you a nice guy? A popular book for men entitled, “No more Mr. Nice Guy” was written by Dr. Robert Glover back in 2003.  The title was controversial, but the main premise was that many men where caught in …

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Why Do Men Go It Alone? Part 1

Men and receiving help When you look at movies such as Rocky or the Lone Ranger, you start to see that many men have been fed this message that we have to go it all or mostly alone. What I mean by that is that many men are raised being told, “Don’t be sad”, “Don’t cry”, “Just …

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Can Four Parts Make a Whole?

Can Four Parts Make a Whole?   Everyone has a story to tell. We all have a past, and each of us our own journey. At the age of 13, I knew I would be a therapist. I wanted to be a helper, a nurturer, and a vessel for others to grow, change, and heal. …

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Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll

Sex, Drugs and Rock and Roll David Sanchez, CSAT     When people ask me what I do for a living, I could easily say that I work with individuals that have a problem with sex, drugs, and/or rock and roll, but it is so much more than this.  As a therapist, I am trained …

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Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction

David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist.   Are you struggling with your erectile dysfunction during sex?  If so, please read this article regarding some of the causes of this involving pornography.   Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction article.   If you are struggling with sex and or porn issues, please seek an assessment.  David …

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Pornography Addiction, Why is This So Bad For a Relationship?

David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT, EMDR Therapist Certified Sex Addiction Therapist in Charlotte,  NC   I see many men coming to my office wondering, “what’s the big deal about watching porn?”  Simply put, most of their significant others do not appreciate that they are fantasizing and watching other women have sex, even if its not …

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Can Erectile Dysfunction Be Caused By Porn?

Are you dealing with erectile dysfunction?  I have recently heard men talking about erectile dysfunction in my practice.  Did you know that this is the most common sexual challenge men face? This is very difficult for men as their sexual performance can be a sign of their manhood.  They report that this is difficult for …

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Three Signs of Sexual and/or Pornography Addiction and Next Steps

Please see my quick and informative video on the three signs of Sexual and Porn addiction and what to do next. For more information please call us at 980-263-9608 or email us at admin@charlottecounselors.com

Why Are Men So Stressed Out?

  I don’t know about you, but as I man myself, we can be super stressed.  Men are usually taught to not show emotions, pull up their bootstraps, and to just get it done.  That works great in war, or during a crisis, however; it is very bad for your health in the long run.  …

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Anxiety Pain can be felt in the head, chest and other parts of the body

Is All This Pain Really from Anxiety?

Anxiety is a common symptom that almost everyone experiences in their lifetime. You may feel anxious when walking into a job interview or when meeting a new person or learning a new task.  For some people anxiety can turn into chronic worry and can hinder their life and bring on great suffering.  According to the …

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Why are men so anxious?

by David Sanchez, Anxiety Counselor in Charlotte, NC       In today’s fast paced world men are taught that they need to work hard and absolutely under no circumstances are they to fail. Failure is unacceptable and with all this pressure it is easier to see why they develop anxiety symptoms from fear of …

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What Should I do if I am with a Sex or Porn Addict?

01/28/18   I work with many men who meet criteria for sex and/or porn addiction every day.  One thing I notice is that although they are struggling with the consequences of their acting out behaviors, what about their significant others?  In my clinical experience, which is backed up by the research, the significant other of …

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Am I a Sex Addict?

You may be wondering if you are or are not a sex addict.  This can be determined by a Certified Sexual Addiction Therapist, however; a first step would be to take this questionnaire.   PATHOS        If you answered yes to one or more of these questions, I would like to invite you to …

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Charlotte Counselors, 28210

I became a counselor in order to work side by side with my clients to move towards the life they want. Change and hope are not just fantasies, but can truly happen when someone is motivated to stop doing what is not working and to be able to step back, receive some guidance, and then …

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Can Workaholism lead to Sex Addiction?

By David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT, EMDR Therapist Can workaholism lead to sex addiction? The answer depends on how the workaholic was raised, regarding being subject to any form of abuse, neglect, trauma and/or abandonment etc. If this was the case, then an individual could use one or more substances and/or behaviors to “numb out” …

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Seven (7) Signs of Pornography Addiction

09/27/17 By David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT-C, EMDR Therapist.   Did you know that pornography addiction is somewhat different than sex addiction? Yes, pornography addiction deals more with excessive pornography use with or without masturbation.  Once an individual moves over from using pornography excessively to the point where it is affecting one or more areas …

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What is Sex and Pornography Addiction?

What is Sex/Porn Addiction? by David Sanchez 09/24/17 Please see this short and informative where David Sanchez, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist-C, explains the basics of sex and pornography addiction. For more information on sex  and pornography addiction please call David Sanchez  a Charlotte counseling private practice at 980-263-9608 or email him at admin@charlottecounselors.com

The Great Porn Experiment

07/10/17 This is a great Ted talk on the negative effects of compulsive pornography watching called “The great porn experiment” by Gary Wilson.  If you haven’t seen this, it is definitely worth watching and helps us see that pornography can become a major problem effecting our health and relationships. Watch this video and decide for …

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Fear of Failure (Part 1)

We as human tend to hate failure.  Many of my clients, male and female, share that this is one of there biggest fears.  Whether I work with a 18 year old  male student, 25 year old professional female, or 42 year old married male they each have similar fears.  The fear of failure is often …

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What is Sex Addiction

What is Sex Addiction Sex addiction,  according to Rob Weiss, is also known as “hypersexuality” or “hypersexual disorder”, is a dysfunctional preoccupation with sexual fantasy and behavior, often involving the obsessive pursuit of non-intimate sex, pornography, compulsive masturbation, romantic intensity, and objectified partner sex. This adult obsessive pattern of thoughts and behaviors continues for a …

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Ten Steps to Prepare For an Electronic Fast For Your Children

Ten Steps to Prepare For an Electronic Fast For Your Children By David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS, CSAT-Candidate 05/25/16     It seems like most kinds these days always have some type of electronic device in front of them.  If you are like me, you have noticed that in some cases they have totally ignored you …

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“Help, Does My Child Have a Video Game Addiction?”

“Help, My Son or Daughter May Be Developing a Video Game Addiction!” By David Sanchez, MS, LPC, LCAS Addictions Expert “Does my child have a video game addiction?” This is a hard question to answer because every kid and situation is different, however; if you are noticing the symptoms below, or anything that seems like …

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A tip for panic/anxiety attacks

Tip to help with an anxiety attack, by David Sanchez, re-blogged from Tamara Suttle –Look around you -Find 5 tips you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste. This is called grounding. It can help when you feel like …

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Are Video Games Addictive?

06/23/2015 Introduction by David Sanchez, MS, LPC, LCAS,  Licensed Professional Counselor and Addictions Specialist.  As I am meeting with more and more adolescents that are having a problems with excessive video game playing, I have noticed that this problem can truly be detrimental for their relationships, education and mental and physical health.  If you notice …

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Teen Addiction Group at Charlotte Counseling Associates

Teen Substance abuse group

Are you Sad?

Are you Sad?   Seasonal Affective Disorder affects millions in the United States every year, however there is something you can do about it. January 21, 2015 During the fall/winter season, you may notice a sharp difference in the weather.  Notably it may rain a lot more, the skies become more cloudy and gloomy (unless you …

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Parents: It’s never too early to speak to your children about drugs and alcohol

Speaking with your kids about drugs and alcohol: It’s never too early By David Sanchez, MS, LPC, LCAS Licensed Professional Counselor and Addiction’s Expert 1/14/15 Let’s be honest, parenting can be a challenge at times, especially when it comes to speaking to your kids about drugs and alcohol.  Some parents prefer to avoid or delay …

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Pornography Addiction

Sexual Addiction: Understanding the Addiction Cycle Unfortunately, pornography addiction takes more than it promises to give. Here is a great article on this I found by Eric Gomez, licensed counselor, regarding the nature of pornography addiction as explained by one of the world’s renown sexual addiction experts, Dr. Patrick Carnes. Seeking Understanding Sexual Addiction is not …

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Why see a counselor?

Why See a Counselor? 10/28/14 by David Sanchez, LPC, LCAS I have often wondered why millions of people can benefit from professional counseling, but on average only about 10% of the U.S. population actually takes advantage of it.  Like anything that is important and meaningful in life, professional counseling takes patience, effort and practice. For …

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