Five incredible benefits to be an assertive man

Are you feeling stuck or burnt out at work and tired of not receiving that promotion. How about struggling with your significant other or other family members and friends, and feeling like you can’t say “no”, even when you want to?  As a Men’s Assertiveness coach and therapist, I work with men who want to tell others what they need and want, but for many reasons, they feel that they can’t. They often tell me that it backfires when they attempt to be assertive. These men needed someone to partner with, someone who “gets them” as they learn to be more assertive. Can you relate to this?  You are not alone, check out these quick benefits to being more assertive and what to do next.

  1. Benefit #1:  It gives us more control of our lives:  This becomes so empowering, because once we know we are in control of what we do, what we will accept and not accept, we start to feel less depressed and anxious and focus our energy on healthy ways to get our needs met. 
  1. Benefit #2:  It helps us to be more relaxed around others.  When we know that we can deal with most things, or can ask for help if needed, our bodies start to worry less about what others are doing and focus more on what we value and want.
  1. Benefit # 3:  It increases our self-confidence:  by reducing our efforts to live up to what others think we should do, it increases our confidence about focusing on how we want to be treated, what is important to us, and that we can work on how to do that. 
  1. Benefit #4:  It helps us get back our self-respect without having to win an argument or say something to hurt the other person:  It is generally exhausting and can produce toxic shame and outbursts, having to prove yourself with those that constantly want to argue with you, change the subject, or turn it back on you.  We can choose to state our needs and add boundaries if that person will not abide by it.
  1. Benefit #5:  It acknowledges that others may not honor your boundaries.  The gift of this is that at least you are now able to share your boundaries calmly, directly and respectfully.  If they are not able to respect and abide by them, that is their right. You can still learn to meet some or all of your needs in healthy ways with coaching.

Assertiveness means letting others know what you need or want or what you will not do in a calm, respectful and direct manner.  Most of us were not taught this growing up, but you can still learn these skills in a short amount of time with help.  Now is the time for you to work on this, and to receive some or all of these benefits of learning to be assertive. The men I work with  learn to become assertive, transform his lives, and move towards what is most important to them. 

If you want to learn more, start today by calling our amazing admin, Heather, at 980-224-3233 or by emailing her at admin@charlottecounselors.com.  She will set you up with a free 15 minute consultation with David, to learn more more about how he may be able to help you. 

David Sanchez, LCMHCS, CSAT, EMDR-Trained, Brainspotting-Certified, Men’s Assertiveness Expert is located in Charlotte, NC.  David can see you for Men’s Assertiveness therapy if you live anywhere in North or South Carolina, and is able to see those outside of those states as a Coach. To learn more about David and his associates, log onto www.charlottecounselors.com